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Showing posts with label alone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alone. Show all posts

Sunday, February 14, 2021

Quietus

                                                                                   

Love is for fools and emotional puppeteers and I have no time
No patience for mind games
Yet here I am
Bound by caring and burning with need
An infernal bondage
Tied up and left to bleed
I long to cut myself off
To detach myself from your strings
I want to shut the world out
Just so I can be alone



Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Corrosive Empathic Psychosis



It was Christmas Day and little Tiffany’s parents sat in the living room as she passed out presents, her blonde curls bounced and her face lit up with a smile, like the glimmering Christmas lights loosely strung around the small Christmas tree. The smile slowly began to fade as she noticed that her gifts were stacked into a large pile, creating a maze that left very little space for her and everyone else to move. Meanwhile, the extended family members that grew up with nothing only received socks, underwear, and a few food items.

The voice in her head began to get louder as she sat down, cramped between the exuberant amount of gifts and the couch. She felt trapped and claustrophobic as she began to open the gifts, feigning Christmas joy. Her pretty blue eyes started to water as the voice began to bellow, “you’re a piece of shit! You’re a waste of space! Who the hell do you think you are?!”

Tiffany began to panic, yet she said nothing out of fear of upsetting anyone. She felt overwhelmed as she felt everyone staring at her, judging her. Tiffany’s thoughts raced as an invisible hand wrapped around her neck, keeping her from saying what she really wanted to say, so instead, she screamed. She grabbed her hair and screamed louder than the voices that told her she was worthless, making her appear spoiled and unappreciative. Her family gaped at her, stunned by the sudden madness happening in front of them, angry at the screeching brat they maxed out their credit cards for.

Later that day, everyone went home and the pathetic princess tried to apologize to her mother, who was already too stoned to care. “You have to remember that there are children who don’t have what you have.” Her mother's words and slurred speech created a familiar, lonely void that Tiffany’s heart always managed to fall into.

Tiffany went to her room, cuddling with her self-hatred, noticing the only thing beautiful in her life were the expensive inanimate objects everyone mistakes for love.



The End

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Hot Crux Seclusion



I celebrate my madness with uneasy conviction
Everything I am is built on my affliction
I'm detached
Disconnected
I'm bored with my surroundings so I crawl in 
to your bed of homegrown tears and fuck solitude
Then I fall asleep with a paper and pen
dreaming of worlds where I don't exist
I am tormented
Demented
I'm consumed by flames
Watch me burn
Watch me decay
Watch me as I wither away

Burned by your incandescence...

Sunday, July 23, 2017

A Somber Feeling


Emotional pain
whether it be loss or rejection
It often feels as if I'm being disemboweled
Like sulfuric acid is slowly being poured over my chest
Exposing my heart
Burning me from the inside out
I can't take it!
So I hide...
I disconnect myself
I'd rather feel the sting of loneliness
For it is a particular flavor of suffering that I have learned to endure.